Twins bedtime – unexpected popularity

Hi. For a few days ago a friend suggested a bedtime routine for me, and I thought I should try it out. I’ve been having a hard time getting my twins to bed recently because of the heat and long, sunny days, and I thought I’d try something new. But I was pretty certain it wouldn’t work, so i filmed it.

Normally, I would put them to bed, sing a few songs while tickeling their backs and close the door behind me. That worked out great, and they usually felt asleep within 30 minutes. But that changed.

I posted the video on my facebook wall, and it went viral in a really short time. That was not my purpose, but I thought it was quite funny actually, and people kept sharing it. Suddenly it had over 100 000 views, and it kept spreading.

Comments appeared frequently, and I tried to keep up. And the comments became mean, hurtful and disrespectful, and this is why I’m writing this post. When you call me a bad mom, tell me I never should have kids and encourage me to hit my kids, I can’t just sit back and say nothing. I won’t.

 

I live in Norway, and if we hit our kids we lose them. Thank god for that! I live in a peaceful country with low crime, and I love it here. Many of the people commenting on my youtube video said that they are spanking/hitting their children. They also said that they were spanked in their childhood, and that it didn’t affect them. Well, is that really true? It make them hurt their own children, because they grew up that way themselves. It’s wrong. But go ahead, treat your children however you want, that’s not my concern.

What I want to achieve, is to tell you that I’m not a bad mom. I’d do anything for my children, I really would. I will tell you about my bedtime routine, since so many people are commenting negative stuff about it;

After they have taken a fairly long shower and brushed their teeth, I put them in their beds. They have always shared a room, the only exception was in the video – because I tried a new method, and it didn’t work out. And yes, they do have blinds in their windows, even though it doesn’t look like it in the youtube video. When the door is open, the wind blow the blinds away from the window, and let the sun into the room. When the door is closed, it’s fairly dark in there.

After we have spoken a few minutes about how their day was, I tickle their backs and sing for them. I’ve tried to read books for them, but they aren’t interested in listening to me reading, so I sing instead. I keep tickeling and singing until they are asleep, sometimes it’s 5 minutes and other times it’s an hour.

Leon normally wakes up after an hour or two, and I end up carrying him into my bed, to prevent him from waking up Nathaniel. I tickle and sing for a few minutes again, and Leon is once again asleep. Normally an hour later, Nathaniel wakes up and walks straight into my room. I tuck him in, and leave the room. I really don’t mind them sleeping in my bed, I think it’s comforting and really nice. I only wish they didn’t use 90% of the super king size bed, forcing me to sleep in the footend. But, I’m used to it by now.

When the weather gets normal and the sun sets earlier, I’ll go back to our normal routine wich I mentioned earlier in this post. But for now, this works for us. If you want to judge, be my guest. Now I’ve at least told my story.

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258 thoughts on “Twins bedtime – unexpected popularity

  1. Det er en utrolig god video, og en situation som alle forældre nok har prøvet i en hvis grad 😄
    Du klare det bare utrolig godt, med masse af tålmodighed 🙂 tager jeg virkelig hatten af for, du er en inspiration! Bliv ved med det du gør, du har nogle gode drenge og de har nogle fantastisk mor 😁

    Like

  2. Hi

    Just wanted to say you sound like a WONDERFUL mum and from the short clip, you have a wonderful family.

    Thank you for sharing and PLEASE ignore those horrible, nasty trolls!

    Like

  3. Hej……Flot at du klarer rollen som mor til tvillinger i en så ung alder. Der vil altid være mennesker, der dømmer andre. Lyt ikke til dem og deres had. Knus fra Trine i Danmark (blev mor som 37 årig, hvilket nogle havde travlt med at fortælle mig var meget sent)

    Like

  4. I am a mother of 16 year old Boy/Girl Twins and you just reminded me of their babyhood!!!!lol Hang in there that is just one of many first you will have with twins. Wait til they get older and want to use the toaster, car, shower, etc at the same time! lol You will be reminded on a daily base which twin was born first! I need the car why you because I’m older by 2 mins! lol

    Like

  5. I loved this video as I feel it is a glimpse into every mom’s life…at least once or twice during the toddler years!! Both my boys are good sleepers and even we’ve had nights like this. What a fantastic and beautiful way to show how crazy being a mom can be! The best part is that in 5 or so years, when they are growing up way too fast and you want to hit ‘pause’, you’ll look back on this video and laugh (well, maybe cry a little too). I love this video, I love your post, and you are definitely a great mom. Let the haters be. 🙂

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  6. Brave mum. Lots of patience, cant put a finger on ur bedtime video.. Wish I have That kind of calmness in me.. ♡ wishes from Danmark.

    Like

  7. O lord have mercy… you have the patience of an angel! These two are lucky, lucky boys. Don´t ever let yourself be put down by offensive comments, you know better. It´s just a reflection of peoples own issues. You are a great mum. I have 3 of these small pieces of us, I know what you are going through. Be kind, but take no shit. Let that be your mantra 😉 And by the way: Ethics on social media sucks, don´t let it get to you. You rock. End of story. Love and light to u ❤

    Like

  8. I may be out of line here, but I think it’s a mistake to separate twins for many reasons, and it looks like your troubles started after you separated them into their own rooms. I have three children, including twin girls. They have always been together and actually their big sister is in the same room with them. I don’t have issues with sleeping at all, they recognize their bedtime and enjoy it. I don’t mean to underestimate your efforts as a parent, but I just wish to share my wisdom and experience. I believe children, and especially twins, will thrive on a bond they create.

    Like

    • Did u not read the post properly???? Normally they DO share a room… this was a new technique which she knew wouldn’t work, and it didn’t, and she’s gone to her old technique again. Read properly

      Like

  9. Henriette,

    That was such a cute video! You clearly have a wonderful sense of humor, enjoy your children and know what feels right to you. That’s the key to successful parenting. I loved your determination and patience with your children in clearly setting the boundary over and over until they understood it was real.

    If this was a sudden change, as it sounds like it was, it actually worked remarkably well. Regardless of how long it took, they ended up staying in their beds and falling asleep on their own, apparently for the first time! Even though it took longer than your usual routine, if your goal is for them to learn they can fall asleep on their own, then all of you just took a big step forward. Plus you got it done without tantrums or punishment, and with your sense of humor intact.

    If you’d like to keep them moving forward on this path, I have a suggestion for you if it feels right to you. Simply point out their successes (individually) by saying, “Look what you did last night! Even though everything was different, when you figured out I wasn’t coming in, and it wasn’t OK for you to come out, you kept yourself in your room, then stayed in your bed, then calmed yourself until you were sleepy, and then fell asleep all on your own. You did it!”

    When you point out children’s successes, they feel proud of themselves and want to do more. So when the new routine is established, you can use the same strategy to shorten the time. If you’d like to learn more about this simple, punishment-free, reward-free parenting approach, just let me know or visit my website: http://www.languageoflistening.com

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  10. First piece of advice to give you –
    Don’t listen to those fools… Most are “trolls”, every culture has a way of parenting and every parent has their own style of parenting. I certainly don’t listen to anyone on how to parent my own children, I may ask advice from time to time but it’s their opinions I’m looking for not instructions on how to raise my own kids. I’m a mother of 4.. I do NOT raise my kids on how my parents raised me to a point. I keep some traditions but the hitting.. nope thanks, I don’t have to punish my kids with violence to get my point a crossed. Good Luck with your boys. I’ve got a 3 year old and 6 year old boys and they keep me busy!

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  11. More greetings from Denmark: I’m completely in tune with Asger – loved the video and can’t imagine who would feel offended by it. An unexpected culture-gap somewhere?
    Hug your beautiful children and keep up the consistency and loving patience required ;-).

    Like

  12. Pingback: The Twin Bedtime Workout

  13. YOU’RE AWESOME…!! 😀

    Dear Henriette!

    I like your little movie with your little small ones. 🙂 Gave a great smile and most because of your way handle your twins. It takes times to change normal-day-life for those two as I would had done for grown up adults,we just forget it with times,but you do a very good job…!! 🙂

    A very important thing to remember when you choose to share this fabulous movie…Please,don’t take negative words with you in heart,because sometime it’s too easy as “not-known-people” to judge and put young women’s in small boxes like you don’t know nothing,but you do know much better…My work as coach in communication between adults and kids,I can only write you those words -YOU DO IT GREAT and KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU,because only you knows your twins,having THAT big passion and love for them…!! ❤

    Wish you all a wonderful,funny and laughing life with beautiful memory's to look back at with a HUGE smile…!! ❤

    Love and beautiful karma to you from Oh, Denmark/Odense

    Like

  14. You’re a good mom. You are right that hitting your child is wrong! Part of parenting is to experiment to find out what works for you and your family and twins are not easy to manage!

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  15. Du er fantastisk!! Syntes det er flott å se at andre også sliter litt om kvelden! Har ikke tvillinger men har 2 tette. Syntes videoen din var bare helt fantastisk!! Nydelige barn og en flott mamma 🙂 stå på videre, ikke la deg påvirke av negative komentarer!!! :):):)

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  16. I’m amazed by your patience with your little ones. What a great video, you’re a wonderful Mom!
    Forget all the crazy people online, they think they can say mean things because they’ll never meet you.

    Like

  17. Thank you for sharing your routine with your little boys. It’s hilarious and yet exhausting!
    You are a great and patient mother, good on you!
    Ignore any comments some mean people make. Some people have just nothing good to say or share with others, their loss.
    I am expecting a little boy (just one!), he is due on the 9th of September. We are very excited and getting ready for moments like this (bed time struggle). If/When I start to go crazy with my toddles mischief, I will remember of you, who have two boys and is doing so well!
    Is never easy, but is always worth being a loving and patient mother.
    Sending lots of love from Australia!!!
    xxx

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  18. Thank you for the chuckle! They are so cute! You have the patience of a Saint! Greetings from the Middle of the Mitten (Central Michigan, USA)

    Like

  19. You are doing a brilliant job. Your patience is obvious. I would have been in tears by the 15th time going in. I think you are a fantastic mother!

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  20. Greetings from Singapore Jonassen ~

    Please do ignore all the hurtful and mean comments you’ve came across.. These are trolls and will stop at nothing.. I think you’re a patient and wonderful mother from what I’ve seen in the video and here.. keep it up !!

    I grew up in an Asian society and the culture here dictates that i get spanked every time I don’t listen to my parents.. Think I grew up just fine though, despite all the beating.. We have a saying here, “Spare the rod and spoil the Child”. I will probably follow what my Father and Grandfather does, albeit with a greater degree of tolerance.. hahaha ~

    keep it going super mum !! all the best and i hope to see more videos !!

    Warmest Regards,
    Kenneth

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This is such a funny clip. My son doesn’t like to go to sleep, so sometimes it takes a long time for him to settle down. I laughed so hard when I watched your video. I thought i was a busy mom until I saw how it is when you try to put not only one, but two toddlers to bed.

    Sending lots of good wishes to you and your beautiful children!

    Like

  22. Thank you for sharing your bedtime routine attempts 🙂 Your doing such a great job with raising twins! I absolutely agree with your comments regarding hitting your children, thank you for taking the time to address those negative comments with such a well written blog.

    Like

  23. Pingback: The Twin Bedtime Workout – ruralnerds.com

  24. I saw your video after reading the article and was expecting so see something really bad – given that you’ve had so many negative comments about being a bad parent. I’m not a parent myself, but I can’t see anything wrong with what you’ve were doing, looks like you are a fabulous and very patient mum!!

    Like

  25. You look like a great mom – don’t mind the trolls!! I (as someone who doesn’t have kids) was amazed with your patience and calm throughout, I feel like I would have lost my cool in there somewhere!

    Like

  26. There is nothing in the video that should have made people lash out at you. I guess some people have nothing better to do than make others feel bad. I’m sorry for that. It’s a cute video, and it shows how difficult motherhood can be…but you are doing a great job. I have raised 4 boys myself, and I know how hard it can be. You’re doing great!

    Like

  27. Hold nu op du fik da lige smilet frem på mine læber:-) tommelfingeren op for den kæmpe store tålmodighed du viser i din søde og sjove film. giv os mere af det for det er da en inspiration for andre forældre:-) Du er en GOD mor som forsøger at hjælpe dine børn….. I LIKE…..

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  28. I think you’re a great mom! You have the patience of a saint and most parents I know couldn’t have handled (a crazy!) bedtime with twins! Don’t listen to people who are hurtful and mean. Thanks for sharing this sweet video with us! 🙂

    Like

  29. I’m amazed people were so horrible to you, that’s ridiculous. Your video made me laugh so much. Getting my 5 month old to sleep is a dream in comparison! Don’t know how you manage with two- big respect! Wishing you many sleepful nights! And please ignore the trolls, they are obviously very insecure.

    Like

  30. Sett videoen flere ganger, føler med deg. Synes din TÅLMODIGHET ER IMPONERENDE. Har tvillinger selv, og vet virkelig hvordan det kan være. Og har man ikke vært der, så aner man virkelig ikke. Det er lett å gi råd og være bedreviter.. og fortelle andre hva man skal gjøre. Men det er ingen som kjenner dine barn bedre enn deg.
    En dame sa til meg en gang:
    “englene gir bare tvillinger til de som klarer det”..
    You can do it..
    Hilsen Kathrine, en annen tvillingmamma med “legge-helvete” 😉

    Like

  31. You’re not a bad mom! I have twin boys myself (they’re teenagers now!) BUT! I used to do the same thing as you and you did it perfectly! Keep up the good work, having twins is no easy task and getting them to sleep is just as hard as your video proves! The new routine to get them to sleep won’t be so hectic after a few days and you will find you are having to put them back in bed less and less the more days you stick it out!

    Chin up mama!

    Like

  32. Kjempefløtt! Thank you for sharing your video – it was adorable and I laughed a lot. Exactly what I needed after a difficult night of getting my toddler to bed. Can I guess that it is Nathaniel in the left bedroom – he seems very cheeky. Good on you for giving the bedroom routine a try! I can’t imagine how difficult it must be with the daylight hours you get over summer. Your boys look beautiful and despite being understandably wakeful and cheeky are certainly not unruly or badly behaved in this video. I can’t believe people have anything negative to say about this at all. You looked SO patient! Every best wish to you all!

    Like

  33. Good for you! You tried something, it didn’t work, now you try something else. People feel free to tell others what they should do, when they could use that energy to be positive. Best of luck, you have your hands full!

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  34. Really great video! I’m laughing and identifying myself in that situation!
    My son (only one) takes too long to fall asleep and I know how difficult is this routine.
    I admire your patience and dedication. Ignore the nasty comments, they don’t deserve you to spend your time with them.
    Greetings from Brazil 🙂

    Like

  35. Super flot klaret. Og de folk der syntes du klare det dårligt. Har ikke selv børn eller er dårlige forældre.
    Mvh hasse.

    Like

  36. HI there in Norway from California, we have almost 2-year old twins (B & G) who sleep in different rooms and have quite a different “approach” to sleeping. Anyways, our experience is that they really sleep well and go to bed in 5 or 10 minutes when they are T.I.R.E.D, and nothing gives them more excercise than going to the pool (a kiddie pool where they play with other toddlers).

    You probably already know that, but thought it could help.
    T, T and Twins

    Like

  37. I have never laughed so hard in my live. Brilliant idea to film that. I am a mom of twins and I have had those nights. Hope you are getting lots of laughs watching this footage. When they’re older, it will make you cry tears of joy. Enjoy your babies!

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Such gorgeous boys you have! Congratulations on doing such a wonderful job as their mum! Raising twins is a tough gig but it looks like you are doing an amazing job.

    Like

  39. Your babies are beautiful and look happy and healthy and full of mischief… It’s a shame we care what others say especially when they really have nothing good or constructive to add… Try not to let what they say bother you and keep up the good job as a Mum.. From one Mummy to another 🙂

    Like

  40. What a gorgeous little video and precious little boys you have, they are lucky to have such a fabulous Mum.

    I can’t believe people suggest you should hit them. I look forward to taking a look at any other fun videos you share of parenting twins.

    Like

  41. I thought your clip was awesome! I have twin 2.5 yr old girls & I also tried this when they were 18mths old (it didn’t work) I then found sitting between their beds singing softly but not looking at them had them asleep within 10 minutes. Your doing a great job & I hope u enjoy ur beautiful babies as they grow up so fast! 🙂 🙂 ❤

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  42. Hello 🙂
    As a mum myself, not once could I call you a bad mum nor a slightly bad mum! I to believe smacking or hitting your child is wrong.
    Very much the same routine except I have one child and about to have a second and in no way do I know how you could do it with twins. Well done to you and your lovely cute family.

    It’s a shame that people feel the need to share such negativity with you about something they know nothing of! Especially since some probably don’t have children themselves.

    Good luck for the future and enjoy such lovely boys 🙂

    Like

  43. Your video made me laugh a lot. No wonder you are so fit! You do have your hands full and I think you are a lovely mum with lots of patience and very cute, cheeky little toddlers 🙂

    Like

  44. I don’t understand where the bad parenting style is.

    There are just some sad people in this works who suffer from low self worth.

    Keep on going on, you rock!

    Like

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